I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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