Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
