dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
