marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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