You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
