I queefed so loud it echoed.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
