found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You can't just leave with hair like that
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
