i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
