Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
