You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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