But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
