i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
