Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
