I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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