New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We just shotgunned beers for America
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
