You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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