would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
