I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
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