Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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