just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
