covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
