bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
