420 ftw
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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