Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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