This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
high people should be assigned attendants
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
