are you still at the devil's house?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
