piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
