Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
