it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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