please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
