Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
