note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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