just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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