his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
