i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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