I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
