Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
