It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
