PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
