I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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