I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
