Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
The air taste purple.
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