Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
