all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
