I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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