Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
