help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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