ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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