if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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