Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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