You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
