spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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