is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
