I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
